Documented emotional 3am breakdown 2.0

Then I sit and think to myself, yeah, everyone is great, good looking, funny, and has a talent.. What makes you so special then? Why do you think you'll succeed?

You've been replaced.. It's now turning into a habit, a habit you can never get used to, because it hurts everytime, and doesn't hurt less.. But the same or perhaps more.

If you already know how this game works then do you keep doing this to yourself?
Why do you keep on falling?
Why do you keep on trying?

Is there anything special about me?

No.



And if there was.. Why would anyone see it anyway?


Why would anyone want to be with you?

Hurts, you know? like as if it was the first time you've been replaced, like as if it was the first time this has ever happened, like as if it would never happen again.
But deep inside you know it WILL happen again, because you allow it to happen, because you do NOTHING about it, and actually seems like you don't care.. I mean, the world believes it, right?

But. Do you?


The thing is not about being replaced at all... But KNOWING about it, being reminded of that everytime you can, everytime they can, are they doing this on purpose? What have I done wrong? Why does people keep on doing this to me?

And then again, you can't cry, you fucker.. And you don't know why, because you think you are not even sad, you don't give a single fuck.. But, buzzling news! you do! and you feel sad as fuck, and you want to cry... But then again you'd be showing weakness, to no one but you.. Why can't you be weak sometimes?... Everyone is.

Why can't you want more for you? be a little more selfish.. Please, for MY sake.

And you realize you can't realize why is it that no tears are bursting from your eyes.. That al the pain they would release just stays inside, burns, aches, and kills you slowly.. So slow, sometimes you don't even feel it.

But there it is, and there will always be.

Untli you set a line, a stop; untli you say "enough"...

But maybe you never will... Why would you do it now? if you haven't done it for years?

It's been 2 now.. God kows how many are there left..

Cry... Please?